Building a strong professional network

[This write-up was published as an article in the Straits Times, Singapore's leading newspaper on April 12, 2016]

A strong professional network is an invaluable asset in one’s career. It can be a tremendous source of information and inspiration.  It can even help you find your dream job since people usually prefer to hire those familiar to them rather than someone completely new. And as the higher you climb in your career, the more you will need the strength of a network to survive and thrive.

A few suggestions on how to build a strong professional network:

Focus on quality – not quantity:

Having hundreds of connections on LinkedIn or a huge collection of business cards serves no purpose if you do not have people who are willing and able to help you. Do your contacts know you well as a professional ? Would they be willing to collaborate with you or recommend you ? If not, you need to work on strengthening the quality of your relationship with your network. A good way to build strong relationships is to identify people who share your values and passions. Relationships that are founded on common values and interests are more likely to sustain and will also be fulfilling.

Be Proactive:

It is important to take the initiative in staying in touch with your network. Do not wait for others to initiate things. According to Jayesh Menon, Global Organizational Effectiveness Leader at Micron Technology, online connections can be a good way to start a relationship but it is necessary to reconnect through phone or emails. And nothing beats a face-to-face conversation, even if it is only once a year, he says. To start networking with a person you are not familiar with, Jayesh recommends finding a common friend or a common interest and expressing a genuine desire to connect. According to him, people generally will not refuse a request to connect with someone if there is mutual value add in networking.

Think about what you can do for others:

A great way to keep your network strong and healthy is to focus on what you can do for people in your network. For example, if you see an interesting piece of information or a job posting that might be relevant to someone you know, send it to them even if they have not explicitly asked you. Similarly, try to find opportunities or projects that you can work on with people in your network. At the same time, do not overdo it and impose yourself on others in the name of networking.

Volunteer:

Volunteering is a great way to find a good network. Identify a meaningful activity that interests you and join a group of volunteers in that line of work. You can try to volunteer in an activity that is related to your work. For example, if your occupation is a safety officer, you might consider volunteering for community activities related to emergency preparedness. You will open yourself to a network of interesting people. Such a network can open up unexpected possibilities. Besides, volunteering is a very fulfilling activity and looks great on your resume as well!

Avoid Complacency:

When times are good, it is easy to forget the importance of a network. Jayesh cautions against becoming complacent while cultivating relationships with people in your network. You might even consider using a spreadsheet to keep track of your contacts and make sure you touch base with them regularly. Maintaining a strong network should be high on your priorities always.

If you do not have a strong network yet, the best time to start is now. As the saying goes - the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago, the next best time is now. A good network built strongly and nourished with care, can yield rich results in the long term.

Handling Hostility at the Workplace

[This write-up was published as an article in the Recruit portion of the Straits Times, Singapore’s leading newspaper, on January 16, 2016. ]

Background and motivation for this write-up:

One day at work, I happened to witness a hostile exchange between two colleagues. Emotions ran high and there was a lot of negative energy flowing. Nothing productive or conclusive emerged from the exchange – the only outcome was that the participants’ blood pressures were significantly elevated! As I reflected on this incident during the rest of my workday, I thought about what I could learn from this.

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Wikipedia defines hostility as emotionally charged angry behaviour. In everyday speech, it is used as a synonym for anger or aggression.

Every one of us has, at some point of time, encountered hostility at the workplace. Learning to deal with hostility is a valuable skill. Here are a few ways you can manage hostility at the workplace effectively.

Keep your equanimity and composure at all times

Remind yourself that if the other person is rude or hostile, it is their problem - not yours. The person's behaviour should not affect your peace or blood pressure unless you allow it to.

Maintain your poise. While this is easier said than done, techniques like deep breathing, yoga and meditation - when practiced regularly - promote self-awareness and train you to deal with such situations better. Like all skills, the ability to handle stressful people and situations can be consciously developed through practice.

Motivate yourself by giving yourself small treats each time you handle a hostile person deftly. Your calm demeanor will make it clear to everyone that you are not going to get flustered even if someone shouts at you in an uncivil manner. Over time, there is a good chance that the offender will realise the futility of throwing a tantrum at you.

Do not yield to the hostile person’s unreasonable demands

While it might sound like an easy way out, yielding to the person's demands will only set you up for further trouble.

It will send a message to him or her that you can be pushed around by throwing a tantrum. While you should not respond emotionally to a hostile person, you should not send out a signal that you are a pushover.

Empathise with the person

While this might sound like a rather idealistic way of dealing with a hostile person, putting yourself in his or her shoes can help you manage the situation better.

This is not to say that hostility should be condoned or accepted. Empathising can help you stay calm and hence handle the person more rationally. It may also enable you to understand the underlying cause of the person's hostility.

Often, the underlying cause for hostility is insecurity. By mitigating the hostile person's fears, you might be able to eliminate the hostility over time. You might even win yourself a new friend or ally.

Prepare yourself

Mentally ready yourself before a meeting with a hostile person. Prepare yourself emotionally and remind yourself not to lose control.

Foods like chamomile tea and dark chocolate have the ability to reduce stress. You can use them as aids to boost your calmness. Remind yourself that you will not compromise your physical and mental health by getting flustered.

Find healthy ways to get rid of stress

If you do get stressed by hostile colleagues, find healthy ways to dissipate the negative energy by indulging in a creative hobby or exercise.

There are plenty of ways to do this - such as music, dancing, sketching, taking a walk in the park and spending time with loved ones. Develop the self-awareness to fmd out what works for you and indulge in such activities.

Have a Plan B for your career

It has been said that Anxiety = Uncertainty x Importance. This means that the more importance you attach to a situation, the more anxious (and stressed) you are likely to become.

On that note, a colleague of mine impressed me with his ability to maintain extraordinary grace even during extremely hostile circumstances at work. I once asked him what his secret was. He told me that he had an alternate career as a part-time fitness instructor. During stressful confrontations at work, he would remind himself that his life does not depend on his job, since he could always fall back on his Plan B. This freed him from anxiety and helped him to treat hostile colleagues as minor nuisances rather than major problems.

Having a Plan B also gives you a better chance of managing crises like economic downturns, job obsolescence or job loss. This security keeps your stress levels low and reduces the possibility that you might become a hostile person yourself.

However, if all else fails and you are stuck in an environment where hostility and rudeness are the norm rather than the exception, you should start thinking seriously about fmding a better place to work.

At the end of the day, it is important to remember that hostility is not a pleasant thing and you do not have to accept it as a part of your work life forever. While hostility cannot be eliminated from the workplace, you are entitled to look for workplaces that are - for most part - decent and civil environments.